Fragility, Life & Thanks

Life never ceases to amaze me. We are all such an intricate part of a very complex living organism that is our planet. Everything we do affects something and vice versa. We are such complex beings and just starting to scrape understanding and existence and yet it is all so fragile it could be gone for someone, while they sit contemplating it all, or worse not thinking at all…


This summer was a real one for me. Many things have happened to me in my life but it was this year the understanding of how fragile it all is really set in. Putting my suffering cat down; watching a motorcyclist get smacked by a car that ran a red light; passing out after a migraine attack and waking up in a pool of blood; accidentally squaring a family of racoons driving down the highway, their little scared faces the last thing I saw; hearing that a new friend I’d just made had gotten killed by a drunk driver; hearing more than one friend talk about suicide; losing friends over nothing and watching everyone around me just simply go to atrophy like my gentle 93 year old grandfather who’s seen more than I could ever blog.

It hurts me when I see people fighting, cause we are all so precious and connected and it could be gone at any moment. And further down the road – how are we to survive as a race if we can’t get along? We are universally connected and most can’t see that. I can’t NOT see it. I can’t go through life without these bonds. I can’t even walk by a homeless person without giving them a smile, if not buying them a coffee … and it kills me to see such poverty or violence in other societies. Being Canadian I’ve never gone truly hungry or been tortured for selfish reasons. It’s not like I’m unaware that I’m powerless to help, rather I’m aware that if I empower those around me, and they pay it forward to those around them, then collectively maybe we as a race can transcend this bullshit and survive the next ice age, unlike our predecessors.

Life could end at any moment and I’ve never understood when people waste their lives away, when people sleep all day or do the same repetitive things. I heard only 5% of Americans have passports. Yet Canadians probably don’t have much more, so many people don’t get out and see the world! And how many of those who don’t have one, actually go out and see the town or city they live in. How many go see live shows or plays, or go on a road trip in their own area! I bet they all know the television schedule tho…

Speaking of TV, I was watching a star trek episode long time ago when I was a teenager that featured a being who described us as ‘Ugly bags of mostly water.’ Whoever came up with that exact line is a genius (cause lord only knows if Roddenberry actually did!). I have always thought of us as that way, only I don’t think we’re ugly. But I’m always pondering how we all manage to hold it together – literally! And when something dies, its like another dimensional bubble pops and it all melts back into the earth, or at least it’s supposed to. Life begets life and I have a hard time dealing with the sorrow of death. I have a hard time seeing it as an end.

When a lost cat of mine long time ago was found by neighbors kids already partially decomposed, it was a weird moment for me. These boys were only 10ish and death to them was interesting. We looked at the body together and saw what had happened to him. It was hard to stay real while watching maggots come out of his eyes, but it really helped me see it wasn’t my cat and hadn’t been for a while. The kids and I buried him together and since he was called Newton I planted a baby apple tree over him. Days later I was smoking a joint near the tree and I noticed a billion tiny baby flies resting on the ground and leaves of the tree where I buried my cat. There were holes in the ground where they had climbed their way up 4 feet to freedom. One by one I watched them fly off like glitter in the wind, where I knew birds and other animals would make lunch of most of them. I like birds. They’re one of the things that keeps me sane in the city. Their songs are always happy no matter what drama us humans are going through. I remember especially wishing the chickadees would get the flies, the are my favorites, their little colonies in the trees are never sad.

It was at that moment I saw just how much we all need each other, all creatures; even the animals (and humans) we hate; the insects; the plants; the fungi. It scares me that we humans go about obliviously destroying it and everything that holds us together. We go about being hateful or selfish and it could be gone at any moment. We destroy our environment and communities because we seem to think we’re some kind of individual. Some people even bank on that. Its wrong and cancerous. And since I can’t stop seeing us each as parts of a whole, I can’t stop thinking these ‘individuals’ are just sick and either need healing or therapy or something! I don’t feel hate when someone’s being a selfish asshole, just pity, and that’s almost worse than hate. So in the end I can only douse it with love … yeah I know it sounds cliche.

Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what little we have, not thinking about what we don’t have, and vocalizing our thanks to the universe. Whatever you have in life, take the time out this weekend and pay homage to that. The rest will come later…

“We did not inherit the earth, we are borrowing it from our descendants.” – Chief Tecumseh


Love & Mathematics

Puff Mama’s Calculated Response
To The Holiday Blues

The first love lesson we learn in life is to hug. The first math lesson we learn is 1+1=2.
They are but they same thing.

Life is full of love and math, its where the left brain and right brain come full circle and meet at the top. It’s where the creative and passionate meet the absolutes, where chaos becomes order and where art becomes physics. Where a hug can be calculated and where calculations can be dissolved into a hug.

When we’re in a positive state, our electrons are charged with positive ions. These ions attract with other positive charges and bond together, like when you rub a balloon on your head and it sticks. When they encounter negative ions, it causes friction and lightening, like when you rub your feet on a carpet and touch your finger on someone stationary and get zapped.

If your body is constantly bombarded with negative ions, this will have a damaging effect. I mean real ones, not just rubbing your feet on a rug. I mean negative thoughts, emotions, word and actions, those have ions too. You will eventually have anxiety or sleeping problems, difficulty focusing, a higher chance to manifest disease, and a likelihood that you will create situations continuing the cycle. If your body is bombarded with positive ions, this will have a healing effect. Thoughts of love, positive emotions, kind words and community support. You will develop a more stable mind; you will have better rhythms with sleep and thought; you will find it easier to go out and do and eat the things you need to stay healthy and you will seek out situations that will cause more positive charges, thus having a positive effect on you overall. When you direct these positive and negative ions, you are playing with physics, specifically quantum physics. It is in this moment that you become ‘God’ and can manifest any reality you want.

The math goes deeper too … Ever hear of The Golden Ratio, 1.61803399…? It’s an infinite number like Pi, only it’s called Phi. It’s is the number that all life is built upon, and it is the most pleasing this to look at, proven by math. Phi is calculated by taking any number in the sequence divided by the previous. The farther you are in the sequence, the closer you are to Phi, and endless spiral. This number shows up constantly in nature – in seashells; cacti; dolphins; bees; water; clouds; galaxies and most importantly – in people, in fact it seems to show up more in the human body that any other biological organism! If you take the last digit on one of your fingers, and multiply it by Phi, you get the length of the digit before it, and this can be repeated in your hand, arms, legs and face etc. We are constantly attracted to and charged by The Golden Ratio and the closer to Phi the object gets, the more appealing it is to us.

Ok back to the basics and how to make that work for us … when we were babies and unable to articulate our needs, we just cried until our caregiver figured it out (-1+1= 0). But since we babies need positive ions to grow, we figured out how to voice those needs, and depending on who showed us how, determined how much positive or negative we got over time. As we got older, we were taught how to charge positivity by ourselves. For instance when in need, we no longer had to cry, just say what we needed, and we got it and eventually got shown how to gain that for ourselves, thus going from a negative state past zero and into a positive. (-1+1+1=1). And as we learned to absorb other positive influences like laughter; music; art and nature, we start to learn the higher math like physics and algebra. Some learn it through numbers and geometry, some learn it through music and art, and some learn it by going into nature or though divination. In the end we all play ‘God’ in the same quantum field, and that creates the experience we call life.

When we are born, I see us as having a sort of spiritual ‘bank account’. We make transactions of positive and negative withdrawals. Some people are born with lots of love around them and are rich in positive accounts. Some are born with little and have to learn to keep these accounts from going in arrears. Some learn to constantly replenish, and some are always overdrawn and asking for credit. If we want to make the best of our lives, we need to forget about how much we have or don’t have, and focus on our spiritual accounts. They can be filled every second of the day, and when trauma hits, or when we encounter a negative charge, we can afford the cost. When our spiritual accounts are full, we can confidently go about the day and work to obtain the situations and objects we desire.

When you walk in a room and you smile at everybody, they may not all smile back, but watch – they will receive the positive charge you give off, and it spirals off. When you walk in and scowl at everybody, just watch every single one of them will either scowl back and reciprocate the negative charge or turn away, leaving you with the negative charge to hold on to, the spiral goes within you.

Look at the people around you, notice their reactions to the positive and negative charges around them, watch what they look at, what they reciprocate. Don’t confuse those who put on a happy face with those who are simply positively charged. Some of the most hard core looking people I know are more positively charged that the ones who look generally positive.

When I was a child I got in a lot of fistfights. I was new kid a lot, I was king in one school and loser in the next. I got into fights in some schools and not in others. When I look back I realize now, it was simply that I couldn’t stand some injustice and wanted to stop the flow of anger and hate that was causing it. Fighting made no sense to me and for some stupid reason I thought fighting was the only way to stop it. Canceling out a lot of negative charge with another big charge. I learned later this was a not a good way to deal with it, and would sometimes worsen a situation or fester more negativity, making a spiral of negative. I figured out that dealing with it positively not only cancelled the negative charge, would cause the other person to want to pass the positivity on, thus creating a positive spiral. Now as an adult, I’m more aware that its all about math, adding positives and playing with the physics.

I woke up this Christmas morning feeling a bit sorry for myself, feeling lonely and dejected, tired and not really looking forward to the day. I decided then it was not fair to me or anyone I encounter that day to be in that state, so I decided to have a positive day, do some math and not let it effect me. I only looked at pleasing things and started thinking about the people in my life that I was thankful for, the friendships I have forged. I thought about my health and family and how there were so many in way worse situations. I avoided reading any news, which is always about death and problems. I petted a puppy on the subway. I phoned and texted messages of love to my friends. I played lego with my nephew. By mid day, what was probably -10 had made it above zero, and here I am at the days end, and I sit now in a much more positive state. My sleep will not suffer tonight and my day will be better tomorrow.

Some math that helped me out today:
– Going to the coffee shop and having my coffee for free just because it was Christmas, that made me smile. 1+1=2
– Seeing a local homeless guy with a present in his hand, he’s the one who’s always pleasant and friendly to everyone, so he got a gift because of that, made him even happier showing it off all wrapped pretty. 1+1=2
– Walking my dogs in the park, the first stranger I encounter smiled and said ‘Merry Christmas’. Usually people avoid my dogs, they’re pit bulls. And the stranger was perhaps East Indian so getting a Christmas greeting and have them not afraid of the dogs was encouraging, gave me the urge to smile and made me feel thankful for the multicultural city I live in. 1+1+1=3
– Reading my twitter feed and noticing a post that led me to a blog about positive thoughts equaling positive change. One girls struggle to stay positive, plus another guy telling the world to read it. That was multiplication, 1+(1×10(to the power of infinity) = infinite positivity
– At Christmas dinner I saw my adorable nephew win over the entire party without saying a word. We are also full of inertia, a thing that stays in place until something else puts it in motion, a look or a smile or a 7666 touch. It’s pure physics.

So when you’re feeling depressed, at a loss, without things or people you desire, just do some math, push the inertia, play with quantum physics and make it better. Watch some comedy, pet a puppy, ride your bike, draw something, do a crossword puzzle, look at nature, hug your neighbour – do anything but think about the things that bring you down and drain your account. You do the math, you make yourself rich. Nobody can do it but you.

Love, The Big Bang and Why I Never Feel Alone


Once upon a time, billions of years ago, we were all one single giant unit.  Then along came some tremendous force, and for whatever reason good or bad, it tore us apart into countless pieces.

All creatures and plants came from primordial ooze, but we still haven’t figured out why.  Each has evolved and congregated in mountains; meadows;  forests; reefs and islands growing in colonies; hives; packs; flocks; families and cities.  We each take care of our own and help other species around us, from the bees and trees to the fish and the beasts.  For every one that causes destruction, there’s another to give love. Continue reading

One Hit Wonders

My neighbourhood is nice, middle class, mixed race, and pretty headstrong. We kicked out a Walmart with a No Big Box in Leslieville campaign and won. Almost all of the businesses are independent and doing quite well. Our BIA is fantastic and supports our little hempire 100%. I’ve come to learn that I have a very special niche of clientele that frequent my shop and events. I don’t seem to attract the kind of people you might expect and this has given me a very interesting perspective. A lot of the people coming in are fairly well educated and are not your atypical potheads. Continue reading