When I was a child I was called many things and had many descriptive words used on my personality. It was always with affection and never used against me in anger, nor did my family think I needed to change, I was just a handful. Words like ‘spirited’, ‘eager’, ‘energetic’ and ‘motor mouth’ came at me often, and never in those ‘spirited’ times did I ever feel like I was abnormal.
When I got to be a teen and in my 20’s, I found life very depressing and overwhelming. I had a good upbringing and it was difficult for me to deal with how different society and the real world was. I was upset at so many things; world politics; the state of the planet etc, and I felt worthless. I cried a lot, I mean a lot. My parents were pretty exasperated, and I entered therapy looking for answers. It was about the worse experience I could have gone through in my state. For about 5 years I just felt sorry for myself a lot, and walked around like a zombie on the pills they gave me. The only time I felt alive was when I smoked hash or took psychedelics.
I’m not even that old, and I am noticing nowadays that everyone has a label on them. We’re told we’re special, and given a special label. And for every label, there’s a pill to match.
‘Bi-Polar’, ‘Manic’, ‘Asbergers’, just other names for ‘spirited’ people. ‘Fibromyalgia’? Of course it exists, but doctors diagnose it when someone hurts and they don’t want to look into it, so they group it like that, just like they used to with ‘chronic fatigue’. And what is ‘chronic fatigue’ anyway? I’m not even putting capitol letters on that one. IBS? Well that just means I should eat better when my bowel acts up, and everyone I know with IBS or Colitis eats terribly and doesn’t do much to change. ADD? How can they even say I have a deficit if I can do 17 things at once, and only need 4 hours sleep?
Why would anyone want to be mediocre? Why do people want to suffer? I swear sometimes there must be an addiction to being a victim of something, and if there’s nothing victimizing them, they’ll make it up. Then they point to that as the thing that stopped them from doing what they want. Then they get a label, then they get a pill.
Now maybe I’m being harsh, because these conditions and diseases DO exist, people don’t really want to suffer and be mediocre, and they don’t really want to be labeled sick and have to take pills – so it’s odd they get to that state in the end. I think one of the only common grounds across the planet is suffering, and we misconstrue that when we talk to each other. ‘Oh I know how you feel, last year I got in this accident and when it rains blah blah blah … and when the therapy wasn’t working blah blah blah … but the lawyer told me that blah blah blah … and I could have dealt with it if my mother hadn’t blah blah blah… And so on back and forth. People just talk at each other, but feel justified cause they shared their woes with someone in the same shoes. And those who get caught in the conversations are too polite to tell them to stop. I mean who’s gonna be the jerk that takes a stab at Eyore? He’s so sweet, noone wants to be mean. But no one’s ever gonna get better if they just accept a label and a pill.
100 years ago we didn’t have the luxury of even thinking about depression, that was a rich mans problem. If someone was hyper, they got put in the fields. If someone talked too much, they went into teaching. If someone was in a lot of pain, they did they work that could be done sitting down, like office and indoor work. And if someone didn’t want to be a part of things, they were just eccentric, and somehow figured out how to feed themselves off in the woods.
Its unfortunate, but we are breeding a generation of zombies, of mediocre clones and programmable humanoids. And most people are very comfortable with this not because they want to, but because it’s easy. Making change for the better, and choosing to swim against the stream is very tiring at times, and I wish sometimes that I was stupid and ignorant so I could be happy. But when you look at the bigger picture, I’m probably happier that most.
I hated being called ADD and Manic. When I took meds in the past, I became calmer, but stupid like a dinner cow. I slept way too much, had bad skin and had weight and self esteem issues. I missed being able to accomplish a lot in little time, I missed being able to think ahead of the movies I was watching, but the thing that got me off meds was a craving for my zest for life. I just hated suffering and being mediocre! I hated the labels and the pills.
Now I look around, and for the most part I see suffering everywhere. Sometimes its overwhelming and I can’t go outside without earplugs. I’m not xenophobic, I just can’t deal with the noise; the squabble; the sorrow and they fact that people don’t do anything about it – they just get a label on themselves and some pills then drift off. I’m not saying labels and pills are bad – but half of them are for sure.